“It's true that adventures are good for people even when they are very young. Adventures can get in a person's blood even if they don't remember having them.” - Eva Ibbotson When we were young, we wanted to go on adventures, to be explorers, to travel to far away places, meeting and exploring different cultures and people.
As we grew up our own culture started to tell us that this wasn't safe for us, or even appropriate, we saw very few role models in films and story books who went on these adventures, most seemed to be waiting around for a prince to rescue them. Many of our cultural narratives, told us to be careful and especially as young women or girls to be even more careful, to be self-responsible for not being in danger, and if something was to happen to us it was because we were putting ourselves in the wrong place. The older we grew, the more this fear prevented us from adventuring, or when we did decide to take 'risks' we were often met with questioning and concern and we didn't want this fear and concern to be the end of our adventuring careers. Joana remembers the weeks before traveling to India, when she was strongly advised to go somewhere else by adult women who she held in high regards and who travel quite a lot. She decided to go anyway, but felt she had to block out those voices, to brave the unknown journey. Lauren experienced similar dissuasion when traveling to Brazil. Adventures don't have to be far away things, there are adventures we can take right here, they could be adventures into inner worlds, sleeping out in the garden, going for short walks alone, spending some time alone on a camping trip with friends, sitting out in the dark. We all have different and shared fears and experiences, we wanted to name a few of our own fears, fears which have held us back from adventures, fears which we are personally working with…. Sexual harassment: Our experiences of unwanted attention, being touched up, cat called, flashed and approached by men, have lead to us being much more aware and on edge when we are alone, these experiences have left us with a hyper awareness, and difficulty in relaxing. There are lots of ways we have responded to this harassment and continued oppression, by hiding away, not walking alone especially at night, or when we do, having a phone in hand to be able to call for help, wearing certain clothes that don't attract attention, being submissive and overly kind when approached by someone uncomfortable especially when alone, choosing very hidden places to sleep and not having fires to attract attention, to name but a few. Our own minds: Our minds are so powerful, if we have watched a lot of TV, biased media, movies, read books etc, we may find ourselves absorbing these images and projecting them onto the world. Be it ghosts, scary people, witches, monsters, the dark, or whatever we have met in these worlds, these fears can be big blocks to stepping out of our comfort zones. Wild animals and insects: Once when Lauren was sleeping alone in the middle of the wild Spanish Pyrenees, she awoke to something tapping on her head, she led there perfectly still, wondering what it could be. After about 5 minutes of this tapping, the fear was mounting, and she reached up to undo the drawstring of her sleeping bag to investigate, reached her hand up and gently touched the top of her head, what she felt was very slimy and sticky - a slug! She shared this story with friends and family, and it is always met with laughter and squirms, "That would stop me from sleeping out!" She heard many times. The fear of wild animals, badgers, foxes, wild boar and other animals can provoke a lot of fear in some of us, not knowing how to react around these animals if we come across them or if they stumble across us. Small animals and Insects can also leave us feeling uncomfortable, scared and distressed. How have we worked with these fears and enabled ourselves to walk and sleep out alone? Small steps: We have found that meeting and challenging ourselves whilst having enough safety has allowed us to grow and expand our boundaries, facing fears in small doses, finding our learning zone, meeting our edges without pushing ourselves into overwhelm and panic. Being gentle with ourselves, finding company and community to start with and to build confidence with. These small steps have increased our confidence, and have enabled us to take giant leaps. The first time Joana slept out in the woods by herself without a tent or tarp, was during a course, where 18 other people where all scattered around a huge area of wild, unknown land. “I had to walk quite far to get to my chosen sleep-spot, so even though someone would have heard me if I whistled loudly or shouted in case I needed help, it still felt as if I was on my own in the midst of the trees and the wilderness. During the night I heard many noises that woke me up with a fast beating heart. I would then lie awake for a while, listening to the noises, the owls and the wind, watching the stars and feeling my own heartbeat calming down, I remember feeling very alive and full of wonder. At one point I heard some rustling and the breaking of some branches that sounded as if they came from a big animal moving around, I felt a thrill of excitement and a twinge of nervousness, but I felt quite safe at the same time, I had an image of 18 people lying in their cocoon sleeping bags, scattered around the land, alone and connected at the same time. The next morning the mystery of the big animal was solved, as I saw some tracks, and someone else had seen the Dartmoor pony walking right past them in the night.” Since then Joana has slept out many times and loves when she feels safe to enjoy the liminal night time, where many day sleeping creatures are about and unknown dreams and myths stir. Joy and fun: There is so much fun to be had! It is so worth meeting our fears for the sense of fun, freedom and adventure the natural world and walking can offer us. We can learn to live with joy, to make friends with ourselves, our community, birds and trees, find laughter at sunsets, roll around in wild flowers, swim in cold rivers, sleep under the stars and find shelter in moored boats (we did this in Sweden it was very fun). Adventures are not all about challenge, but about the joy and fun we can find all around, it's with this joy that we can become the adventurers of our childhood dreams! Befriending: When we move towards our fears we can learn ways to befriend with the parts of ourselves that fear, and we can also learn to befriend that which we fear, when we make this movement towards, we start to uncover the beauty in the other, we start to see it's vulnerability just like we see our own, we start to see that that which we were scared of is not so scary after all. Building confidence: We have had to find ways over and over again to get to where we are now, we have slept out and gone home in the middle of the night, tried to light fires in the rain which just haven't worked, gotten the bus when we are too tired to walk. These learning’s have been important, and have sometimes led us to want to give up, but something keeps telling us to keep going, to keep trying, learning and exploring. We want to create space on our walks where it's ok to try and try again, where someone who knows how to do something won't just 'take over'. The more we try the more resourced we can become in our own confidence and skills. Getting to know ourselves and our reactions: When we get to know ourselves and how we react to our inner and outer worlds, we can start to unbind unconscious reactions and make choices to respond in different ways. With our experiences we have started to see when fear alters our perception of the world, and how it can feed into itself creating feedback loops that create more fear, we can learn to see how it arises and how it may not necessarily be that we are in danger. Safety and rest: We need to time to allow our selves to rest, allowing our nervous systems to relax in safe places, many people in the world do not have this privilege, but for those of us who do we can create the space and time to meet this fundamental human need. Perhaps this is in nature, perhaps in a house, perhaps through meditation or maybe it's by being alone or being with people you can trust. Sharing and support: Naming fears and hearing how others have dealt with their own fears, or what is present for them, can have a powerful effect in dismantling their power over us. It is easier to face a fear knowing that someone else knows what is going on, and can be there with a supporting word, with their presence, or through a phone call or text. It is also good to be witnessed and celebrated for our little successes, and to support someone else´s journey too.
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